Happy 5th birthday Cooper

Please don't...

Here's a little common sense tutorial for anyone in the health care system.

If you work at a medical oncologist's office please don't ask "so what brings you in today?"

Please don't ask a cancer patient if they know the cause of their rapid weight loss.

If you wear a white coat with MD after your name please don't cross your fingers in front of a guy with cancer.

Please don't say "you're going to feel some pressure".
~ What they're really saying is "you're about to experience something so ridiculous and you may feel the urge to punch me when this is done"

Please don't say "would you mind if I gave you a physical exam?"
~ What the hell do you think I'm going to say??

And what ever you do please don't ever say "I hate to do this to you without a chance to sit down and get to know you a little better".
~ Dude you could be the best friend in the world and that would not make what you're about to do to me any better!

Take Your Kid To Work Day

While I was at the Cleveland Clinic meeting with more doctors (more to come on that later), Jess took all the kids to work for Take Your Kid to Work Day (I know what you are thinking, and yes, I agree that she is crazy for taking all of them!).

Apparently they had fun, but were frustrated that she didn't get recess or free choice time.

Let's Talk Food

I have been on a liquid diet since my colonoscopy. When they saw how large this tumor is, they suggested going on a liquid diet until it starts shrinking as it is super close to being a complete obstruction. Now while this sounds like it would totally suck, the reality is that with all this fluid build up, I can hardly eat anyhow. The odd think is, I find myself watching the food network now and I have never watched it previously. Am I a glutton for punishment or what??

Remember when I said that we were continually looking for the positives in all of this, well I have 2 for you:

1. This is the diet of all diets. I think my 2nd chin has finally started to go away. 
2. I have an excuse to not eat Jess's cooking...just kidding Jess... it is always great.... really it is :) 

Looks Delicious Right?

Week 1 Down

4 radiation treatments are done.
3 days of chemo are done.
No side effects to note.
Turning in my 'man-bag' for the weekend.

Another fun filled day...

My abdomen started to fill back up with the fluid (official name is acites), so I went in for another paracentisis treatment today. They were able to drain 3 liters this time. I feel like it is a ton, but apparently, there are people who get 9 liters drained at a time. That is just ridiculous!

I also got my chemo started today. I stay hooked up to this continuous drip of chemo Monday through Friday each week (again, Cancer doesn't work on weekends). A line is hooked up to the mediport and attached to a pump that is a bit larger than an iPhone. Having this continuous pump is much better than sitting around in an infusion center, BUT it does requires me to carry around a small man-bag. It is really the size of a small camera case, but none-the-less, I am not excited about it. It didn't help when I overheard Cooper telling Jess, "I like Dad's new purse." Way to kick a man when he is down! Oh, and and should I be concerned that my almost 5 yr. old son was admiring my 'purse'???

Today I Officially Started Fighting Back

Today I officially started fighting back against the cancer. I had my first radiation treatment. The plan is to get 28 treatments. One each day, Monday - Friday (Cancer doesn't do weekends). Tomorrow I start my chemo.

Take that stupid cancer cells!

A Second Opinion

We went to the U of M Cancer Center (Go Blue!) today for a second opinion. We have heard from so many people who got treated here or know someone that got treated here and speak so highly of it. Our hopes were high. Unfortunately, they didn't have anything different to offer from the doctors that we had been meeting with. I was OK with this news, as I was ready to just get started fighting the cancer back. Jess on the other hand, was pretty upset with the outcome of this appointment. She was really hoping they were going to be able to offer some more hope.

We were supposed to go to the Mayo Clinic later in the week, but decided to cancel, as this would further delay getting my treatment started. Both sets of doctors have said that starting treatment as soon as possible was extremely important. I am ready get started with this.

Official Diagnosis

I met with the Medical Oncologist today and he gave us the official diagnosis...

Stage IV - Rectal Signant Ring Cell Adenocarcinoma, metastasized to the peritoneal cavity.

Apparently I am pretty special because the age of the average rectal cancer patient is 70+ years old. I am even more special because of this Signant Ring Cell feature of the tumor. I guess less than 1% of  Adenocarcinoma tumors are classified as Signant Ring Cell. Unfortunately, this Signant Ring Cell stuff isn't all that lucky, because they are typically characterized as being more aggressive. Turns out that the spreading to the peritoneal cavity isn't all that lucky either as it can be difficult to treat (you have to rely only on chemo for the stuff in the peritoneum). Anybody keeping tack of the slim chances that I would get this:

1. Half the age of the average person with rectal cancer
2. Signant Ring Cell in less than 1% of these type of tumors
3. Metastasized to peritoneal cavity (typical path is that it spreads first to liver/lungs)

And So The Fun Begins....

Leaving the medical oncologists office, we were pretty much in shock. He couldn't officially stage my cancer until further tests were performed, but given the amount of fluid in my stomach, he thought it had spread. Damn!

When we left the office, we were set up with so many follow up procedures/tests/appointments, it was difficult to keep it straight. Over the following few days I had the following performed:

Paracentisis (procedure to have my abdomen drained of fluid)
See the canister on the wall...yep that stuff is being pumped from my stomach. Looks tasty right? They got just under 2 liters out of me. The procedure itself sucked, but I felt so much relief afterwards that it was totally worth it. The fluid they take out will be tested for cancer cells. The doctor has already told us, that he thinks it will be positive.

Needles Suck

Don't Be Jealous of that 6 Pack

PET Scan
This test will light up any other areas that the cancer has spread too.

Can't I catch a break and at least get a hot nurse??

Met with the Radiation Oncologist
We really like this guy, he is very positive that the tumor will respond well to the radiation. As we were checking out of this appointment, we saw a patient walk up and ring this giant bell. Apparently, you ring this after your last treatment.  I can't wait to ring the shit out of that bell!

Mediport Installed
For this procedure, they put a some thing up around my left collarbone. It is right below the surface so you can tell it is there. They will hook up all my chemo treatments to this so they don't have to keep tapping my veins. I think there is a serious black market opportunity here, as this would be the heroin addicts dream!

Radiation Simulation
They gave me 3 little tatoos (the size of a pen point). One one each hip, and one on my back. This is how they will line me up for the radiation.

Day by day, our new reality is starting to sink in. We are trying to be positive about everything, and find little things to be thankful for. We are extremely thankful that the week I was diagnosed and shuffled from appointment to appointment, our kids were Up North (Northern Michigan for you non-Michiganders) with Jess's parents for spring break. It is hard enough for Jess and I to digest everything going on, and we are dreading telling the kids. As much as I might be smiling in the above pictures, I am nervous, scared, and pissed. I wish this wasn't happening to me and my family.

So Here's the Deal.....

I am starting this blog to chronicle my life as a husband, father, and Stage IV Colorectal Cancer patient. Yep, that's right...I have Cancer. It sucks, and I am not to happy about it. However, I have faith that I will come through this okay.

Here's a quick (well maybe not too quick) recap of how this all went down to get you up to speed....

March 28th
Over the past couple months I haven't been feeling the best. I saw the family Dr. in February and she gave me some medicine. Unfortunately it didn't do the trick, so she ordered a CT Scan for March 28th. The scan showed some swelling in the colon and fluid in the abdomen. I wasn't too concerned at this point, as I was thinking that there were a number of different things that could cause it.

April 3rd
Because of the abnormalities in the CT Scan, a Colonoscopy was scheduled. In the recovery room, the Dr. told us that they found a very large mass, almost fully obstructing my colon. Pathology results would take a day or two, but they were fairly confident that it was cancerous. Immediately, they had us meet with a Colorectal surgeon. At this point, we were getting a bit nervous, but weren't totally shaken. After meeting with the surgeon in the afternoon, he too said that he thought it was cancerous. He said that having surgery first was not the best path to take as it was so large in size and needed to be shrunk down first. This would increase the chance of survival and decrease risk for further spreading. He set us up to meet with the medical oncologist the following morning.

April 4th
We met with the medical oncologist and this is where the reality of the situation really started hit. He immediately started scheduling me for several follow up tests/procedures/doctors appointments.
This is where we also got the pathology reports that confirmed this was cancer.
This is where the gravity of the situation sunk in.
This is where our lives turned upside down.

F U Cancer