Friday, May 18, 2012

Paracentesis... What's all the hype about?


After a number of these swell procedures and a little online research I've come up with some conclusions - This has to be the closest thing to man-pregnancy as humanly possible, and you moms are TOUGH AS HELL!!!


Right now I'm producing a little over a half a liter of fluid per day. One liter weighs approximately 2.2 lbs, so on an average week I gain just under 9 lbs. which is basically going from inception to the third trimester in a week. Leading up to my last paracentesis, I was so uncomfortable that I slept less than ten hours and took in less than 1500 calories over a 72 hour period. It was a sucky couple of days.


The man-idural.
They clean and prep the area before inserting the catheter. At this point I know relief is just minutes away, but conversely, I also know that what they are about to do isn't very comfortable, so my heart rate still jumps.


The man-livery.
The picture above is four liters worth of cancer juice, not exactly the bundle of joy you want to hand out cigars for. Once they started the pump it took about 20 minutes to drain my abdomen. It was such a relief that I actually fell asleep after the first half liter was removed.

 
I USUALLY feel pretty good when it's all said and done, but the problem is when you rapidly gain four liters and then take it out even faster, it tends to rearrange a few things as you can see in the "before" picture above.

Check your butts people, you don't want cancer juice!

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there Joe! You're doing awesome! Thanks for the updates... you are in our continued prayers...

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  2. Wow that is so much fluid!! You are a trooper, so glad you are able to have some relief when they take the fluid off. Thanks for the updates and for us weird nursing students the pics are good too. Lots of prayers and thoughts for you.

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